In his testimony, the perpetrator states that as soon as he saw the victim he shuddered because, according to his claims, he had interfered in his marriage with his ex-wife. Respectfully, Been There. I wanted to believe, because i LOVE this man. I think he uses people to get things that he wants. I found out he contacted her, had been contacting her and became obsessed with her while away. Im married to a Narcissist. There is an instinct within us that drives us to procreate with different partners because that results in successful dispersion of our genes. On weekends he spent all his time at the office, often 24 hours at a time. I too found out on that date that my husband of 26 years (33years together) had been cheating on me. I cannot turn my head to drive, walk, or lay on my side. Its unacceptable for him to disrespect you and your children with this. Thank you for your comments. Relationship advice for women and men on quips and tips for love and relationships. 1. DO NOT click search! His patterns have changed drastically, He does work fulltime and go to school twice a week. I asked him if he wanted an open relationsihp and he said NO! Because I trusted him. Heidi, i love your answer. The thoughts that went through my mind drove me insane. 12? So needless to say I took him back but this time set rules for myself. If theyre cheating, I think they should just TELL THE TRUTH and work on their marriage with their wives. Have a safe place he doesnt know about. My neighbor across the street said to me that he had sex with a woman when I confronted him he said she was a lier. Im pretty sure my husband had a 10-month affair with a woman that he still works with. message me if you need help with perspective or support. Im in desperate need of someone for the same reasons. But, he did. That man is doing you wrong. You are an escape but you are not reality! The best way to find out if your husband is cheating. She swore nothing sexual but all she cared about was her boyfriend who works the other shift and was very defensive. But, his lack of actions in the bedroom make me think he was telling me how he really feels. Three kids. May you find wisdom, hope, and guidance. Im not sure if its emotionally or physically or if he has even cheated at all. Garbage in, garbage out I suppose. ? My prayer for you is that you find the resources you need to move past your husbands past. Then I asked him why he went (when before when he went, acted as if he was soooo bored, he even called me from his cell). We started to talk then exchanged numbers eventually. If your husband isnt willing to be honest with you or perhaps even try marriage counselingthen maybe thats all the information you need. And that once again shattered my heart in a million pieces. Hes asked what can he do to fix this. This has caused allot of heat ache for me and emberrasment. When he would come home, i would get the hug and I love you, then he would sleep, watch tv, or read a car magazine. When confronted about having an affair he gets very defensive. But Im really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son! OH! My neighbor husband is cheating on his wife throughout their marriage. o.k. Why are you asking me? At that point she will give you the reasons for her suspicions. help me sarah. i just keep finding conversations with him and other girls. I was merely trying to share from a place of rational thought based on personal experience and what I have observed in others. Because all hes done sence we been together is lie to my face. The supply, putting people on pedestals, no empathy, no remorse, impulsive, full of shame, lack of responsibility , he is jealous of my accomplishments , envious, very envious and resentful. I dont know if this is a connection or if I am just being paranoid. This is a lot of things he has done but emotionally in other ways he can be a very good man. I had a condo and he sold his home. Were 3 years after the big reveal, on my birthday, as my husband was reading to the boys upstairs. So when you say to check his phone and email I already do so he would know how to hide it really good specially sense he knows a lot about computers. Yesterday I wrote him a letter. when i got pregnant he made an appointment for me to abort it despite him being so religious and pious (the main reason I married him). And noticed he visited a p*rn site during the time he was angry at me a few hours ago. 3 months after my son was born i caught my husband in the shower watching porn which is not allowed under my roof and he agreed at the time but now hes constantly lying to me and feels like he is always going behind my back and when i see him in his work place it looks like he stares and flirts with everyone. Help!! It has haunted me bc he wont tell the truth. He now works about 2 hours away from home and doesnt even stay home most of the time. I just dont know if I should leave him or believe him. Trust me, in your heart, or in that spot 2 inches behind your belly button, you can feel it. Nobody shold deal with anxiety issues alone. his answer will be i am disconnected with my feelings!! He told me he doesnt want that stuff around his child and i told him to stop drinking and as soon as i said that he said show me where to sign my rights away and you can go back to flolrida.. then i cry blah blah blah he gets over but i didnt and he is nice to me. I really hope youve found strength since you wrote this Im praying for you! His mom died of cancer and the truth came out on her death bed..she lived in fear all their married life. Her being a huge narcissist. Please help. If you need support or encouragement, let me know. So my story is.. But i am confused and i doubt hes lying. You are worth more. us band works away i n ontario for 28 days n h omw for 2 weeks during all this time he constanltly accusse me of cheating or men coming on to me..I have never done nethin to cheat or give him reason to think I have or would..one day evrything is perfect n th e next terrible n fighting..he tells me somethin is wrong n that its worse then cheating..n doesnt know how to tell me I dont know wat to do or say nemore I have treied it all ne adivce, Ok so i have been with this guy for 3 years now and of course when i got with him i knew that he had a girlfriend and 2 kids with her but at the same he told me he hated her and didnt like her she was only living at his house for the kids and of course he lives with his parents. I pray God gives you strength to make difficult decisions, and to show yourself the love youve always deserved but didnt feel worthy of. Ive now become a prisoner of my own home as well as a prisoner of his. And it did. we have 3 kids together, i just dont know what i should do. Asked him to give her up, he would not. I have no idea what to do! He said she is just a friend dont you have friends. 7 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Stopped Calling and Texting, Is Your Husband Using Facebook to Cheat on You? I called this girl and found out that my husband had for warned her that I would be calling so I cant believe anything she told me during our converstaion. Also I told him the only way to prove to me is if I can talk to this guy he was with last night looking at this. He does not deserve your love or loyalty. You just have to know that in your heart you are a good wife and if I were you I would tell him how to really feel. He has sincerely told me he loves me, is still in love with me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But dont blow other things out of proportion that could have other explanations! I think he thinks I will be mad if hes talking to girls, but I dont care if it isnt inappropriate, but I think hes been in bad relationships. He is making the excuses because he is busted.What kind person will do something like that,if he want to divorce me.. He.must have someone elseIm doing everything to find out the trutI really ned some advice,we have two beautiful boys 7 year old and 9 year old..they are life to me..I cant believe what is happening.. How would you proceed if you were me? He has 3 children and I am very close with all of them. If he would just say that he was deeply sorry for being such a stupid idiot to not consider my feelings about the way he carried on always putting her first, it may ease my intense anger and distrust of him but he wont. So why would you ask spouses of cheaters if you should get involved with a married man? I have noticed though every time he shows up late from poker so he says that is what he is doingand it is anytime past midnight that he comes home he tries to sleep with me.of course he knows Im upset everytime he shows up late but Im so confused I dont know if he is having less sex with me because of his weed he smokes or his lack of sleep when he is at home and goes to bed late all the time or he watches to much bad stuff? It doesnt appear that hes been calling and hes told me that because of our fighting he thought he may be possibly falling for her, but couldnt get a hard on with her because he has a consicence and that he realized how much he loves me. What does your gut tell you about your husband? But his behavior has changed so drastically it kind of says to me that now that Im gone, he wants the single life. My prayer is for wisdom and guidance. But i cleaned the slate, never brought it up again and moved forward positively. Writing to women who are victims of cheaters is like asking dog lovers if you can use one dog for a violent scene in a movie and try to justify why you are asking the question to dog lovers. I feel as if you and your husband are in a long term marriage and you find out he cheated as a one night stand or in a completely other relationship you can go to therapy find out what went wrong and work on it and slowly gain back what you once had. i stayed with my byfriend with no choice, i cried everyday. He said that during the time he and she were emailing, he felt guilty because he knew it was wrong and was going to let it phase out because it seem to be. Theyll survive and bounce back kids are resilient especially if you maintain a healthy, strong attitude. Usually pornography is a catalyst for other problems in a marriage that can be waiting to surface. May God give you peace, strength, and even joy as you walk forward into the next stage of your life. He wouldntfor the next 20 months I learn about a lot about him. It has to start somewhere. He quotes it. Often when a husband cheats on us, we can feel bad about our bodies, as if we werent attractive enough for him this should never be the case! Successful marriages without cheating have been found to be between two people who take their vows seriously, the same way they live according to their values. at his work place. I mean who goes on there honeymoon and leaves his new wife in bed well your down at the bar getting drunk with another woman and going for a walk on the beach. He now uses a bactrack breathalyzer everyday after work. Well, if your spouse is cheating on you really better to divorce him. Please dont tell me to ask him because this guy has the sweetest tongue and he gets away with everything with his words. Maybe if I had known about this terrible disorder earlier, I might have gotten myself out of this marriage a long time ago. I just felt he was having an affair because the way he acted towards me subtly changed. I just checked his cell phone (since hes still asleep). Hes been aquising me of things and sneaking around. Anyways, today I returned his call and found out that he was on the phone when he answered the call, when i asked him if he was busy, he didnt answer me directly, spoke to me as if i was a guy and then he said ill call u in a minute or two. well she done had the 3rd kid and he is now 3 months old and he is still bouncing back and forth between me and her so i told him he is either going to choose me or her again not even a month went by i went through my phone records cuz i paid for him to have a phone and i found a number i didnt recognize and i called it come to find out he had been talking to another girl and been hanging out wit her so i went and met her and she showed me all the txt messages she was straight up honest wit me so evidently 2 of us wasnt enough he needed 3 women in his life and i come to find out that im pregnant with his child and through all of this his baby mama wit the 3 she found out i was going to have his child so she took her 3 kids and left finally she was gona it was jus me and him things were finally going good i was starting to trust him then he goes to jail for 2 days and i go and get him out and he swore up and down to me that things were going to be different so 2 weeks before my due date to have our child i go back to my house for a couple days and go to my doctor appt alone again and i find out that he had been talking to his other baby mama and she was now back down at his house living there again so i leave for 2 days and he brings her back so i told him that he would regret that for the rest of his life and he is because he didnt get to see his son born. Then came the phone bill. :). I look great for my age and look much younger than most 55 year old women. I dont believe this crap for a second and I prayed on it. funny thing is that he was cheating on his ex with me when we got together. He never really woukd talk about her. I found out my husband was cheating with his co worker on fathers day 2011 by emails that they had been sending back and forth. Weve never had 1 day go by where we havent texted or spoken. The other women also sent several pictures of herself in sexy poses to him. I have two adult kids and do not want to burden Them with this. Patty get your kids and get OUTTA THERE!!!! Some background first. Stay hopeful, stay connected to people who are supportive, and stay connected with God. He was there for 2 weeks and in that time I had recieved a facebook message from a girl Id never met before. It sounds that way on a lot of these comments actually. What should I do? How to Support Your Daughter in a Difficult Marriage. She was born the year we graduated from high school. I see you posted on 4/8/15. I called him at work and asked is your friend with you at work because a text just went out. Yes, I think your feelings are valid about your husbands best friend! There is no excuse for infidelity of any kind. Some wives have discovered their husbands were cheating after their husband passed away, which is why I wrote How to Forgive Your Husband for Cheating While He Was Alive. my questions are, is he cheating or not? He accused me of nagging him, disrespecting him, not trusting him! Yet another one. Any of these women could turn up at your home or God forbid pass an STD on to you. You will! His need for approval from people is so strong, hes actually quite charming and funny to others. Affair Strategies for a "Long Game". He has been very controlling and there have been other issues, but never did I think he would have another relationship. Grrr. Always believe your husband's nonverbal cues, especially if you suspect he's lying about cheating. They always do. At this point, after that long story of abuse, its your fault now for still being in it. Then he send friend request and they become friends. It seems that anything that has to do to her is off limits to me including his job. Having sex blindly with anyone who will agree is extremely dangerous, for you too! Check it out it could really help if you think your husband is cheating, but he wont be truthful. He cheated many times on his previous women while in relationships. He goes out with his friends when he wants and gets drunk when he wants. I honestly dont know what to think about this. Its his king Baby having a self-pitious tantrum.til he gets his way again. If you feel like hed cheat on you, then he probably will. Its feels good to be bad and naughtythats in us!!! Some he admits to, most he denies but Im sure he is lying. Think about it. He doesnt text anymore or call. And this hurts me so bad that it is destroying me as a person and a mother. Its like parenting: everything is easy in theory, but in real life its complicated and messy. The husband didnt seem to mind if his wife talked to other men at a bar, or go off for an hour with another man to buy beer. Research from the University of Guelph shows that people with sexual performance anxiety are more likely to cheat on their partners. My husband went to a concert out of town last night. My gut told me something was wrong. The children are also the ones getting hurt in the situation! I do not agree with the emotional and defensive reaction when you accuse him of cheating. Then he still lied, about not seeing her. Now his ex lives in the same town as his school is in. When a man lies He is likely to cheat. When, she had the baby I saw it and it looked similar to my husband. Half of my neighbors have known he was cheating for years. As, he might have his wedding ring back on, but your marriage is far from what it was and will need a lot of hard work before you both feel close and in love again. Other than to say this: if youre unhappy in your marriage and your husband wont do anything to help improve the relationship, then you need to leave him. Despite the fact that I have been cheated on in a relationship, I myself have actually never cheat on the person I was involved with. Please look it up. i really dont know what to do or what to belive, i wish somebody could give me some advices.. Heres what bothers me, one day he claimed to have stayed at class late and finished all his homework yet had homework to do. Amen. No one should feel stuck in a relationship where both love and trust are on the line. We become somewhat cynical and lose the ability to completely trust always thinking in the back of our mind, their unfaithfulness could happen again. been married for 7years, 1year ago i find out that my husband been cheated on me coz i found out picture of the girl of his bedroom and vedio of the girl taking shower to his own bathroom that time i was 9 months pregnant to my 2ndchild and i was on my own country and he was on overseas work, and he tell it wasnt his girl it was his friend i dont believe because he got all the pictures and video to his hardisc he just keep telling me that he did not cheat on me before that why i was thinking that he cheated on me because he change a lot, he became more angry, he tried to avoid an conversetion to me.. and saying we need to save money bla bla bla.. but he never been like that before.but i want to save my mirrage but i dont know coz sexually we never been making love for 1 and 1/2 year now.. i just dont know what to do, one more he spent more time in the computer than to us, My husband of 4 years said to me yesterday out of the blue that im boring in bed im like an old woman and that i pushed him to other women then quickly changed his answer to your gonna push me toi asked him how can we be intimate if i go to bed EVERY night alone. If you have access to his cell phone try to download spy my phone free app to his phone but first try this app to your phone so that you know how its work. Met woman on craigslist for sexting and video sex. Its normal to feel confused and get mixed messages from your instincts, because this is an extremely emotional subject. I spent a week home with my husband and things seemed good. This guy decided that I will not keep his son because he needs immigration status to stay. only during times when I was not at home, or while he was at work. You have to understand how he is wired. Please help. 1st clue that there was evidence! Ive thought about confronting her, and Ive thought about hiring a private investigator What should I do? All my efforts, all my taking care of the family, working 2-3 jobs after my kids went to school, taking care of bills, taking care of house hold and vehicle maintenance, pushing for a loving, a respectful marriage, all that i thought marriage was supposed to bewas falling around my feet. As much as we woukd like to give back what we got, some of us just cant . You need to listen to your gut, and make some hard decisions. The hardest part for me right now is letting it go. A few months went by, we were still talking here and there. (I asked him about her back then because he had her phone number on his cell phone contact list at the time). This may not be the case. Im planning on moving to the state where he lives, which Id planned before I met him. They dont typically do it to have a brood of offspring from different menalthough that might be a part of the reason at a subconscious level. I found blond hairs on his sweater that hung on the back of his office chair at home. Try to be supportive of her and look for support for yourself elsewhere, or her confusion could rub off on you. May you find peace with whatever your future holds, and may you be strong enough to move forward with what you know in your heart is the right thing for you to do. I thought about just living with it, since I am over 50 yrs old .. but its not worth it. My bf even tried calling her from my phone and she never answered or called back. Im constantly searching for clues. That he told her do to that. but, there was never any sex involved (so he says). Just saw a motivational video that said to always stay in the present. So unless youre prepared to accept all that and convince yourself that youre okay with it then why bother? Hes no longer that happy spending time with me. Which he hasnt done for me. That you are nuts? He did not set up the account for a friend- it is for him. So i tip-toed into bed and he left to work that saturday morning (i know he does this) I was very ill that day, so decided to stay home all day and cook and clean for when he gets home. IMHO you have a responsibility for you. She was shocked, it stopped for a while. I sent her a msg & ended it. You have to do something about it. I called both ladies and turns out he was having affairs with both women at the same time. Pretty sure its severely cracked or broken. The only time he ever talks to me to holds me is when he wants sex..hes changed his email passwords, facebook, and wont let me go thru his phoneim scared hes cheating but I also dont want to be overly sensitive and blow things out of porportion just because my ex hurt me. And that is a bad relationship. Do I confront him about the reactivation? Its not that easy to cut and run when its not just you to consider. Im sorry to hear that your relationship has taken this turn, and you cant trust your husbandit sounds like youre hurt and confused. He may not know how to express his feelings to you, and may be feeling pressure at both work and home. help me. I saw chat between him and this girl (from the same last duty station country), they try to meet up several times. You must determine what you will live with and at what cost. Weve been together for 18 years. My sister told me that she saw my husband with a classmate of mine 30 yrs ago. SO I CALED HIM AND WE TEXTED AND CALLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. But he never puts me on mute when he buys stuff or orders food while on the phone with me so why put me on mute to ask a store guy to buy a blunt? I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts! I really do. At first it is just a crap, basically how they both are and talk about their common friends. https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/steps-when-confused-about-relationship/. And heres an article I wrote for another reader, who is in the same boat as you: https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/why-doesnt-he-love-me-the-way-i-love-him/, I have been with my husband for 13 years. That is what started spiking my concern. I have since uncovered lots of other information which proves him and her are guilty as charged! I am sad all the time and who knows if he did this once he will do it again. Nov 21,2013 I found out my husband was cheating on me. Im not his mother. My insecurities spill over into our relationship because my ex cheated on me and I am afraid every other guy I am involved with will cheat on me because of it. it seems as the women, we are the ones trying to be right, do right and we get stabbed in the back. The counselor suggested he write her a letter telling her she was a big mistake, that he woukd not protect her ever, and that she was never to contact him again. True Love doesn't live in your marriage anymore so why stay. 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On a lot of these comments actually is off limits to me that now that im gone, he and. Become friends knows if he has been very controlling and there have been issues... Common friends pretty sure my husband work fulltime and go to school twice week... Problems in a relationship where both i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it and relationships of this marriage long. Proportion i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it could have other explanations with his words that its because he is tired of being accused something... Away with everything with his words a time tantrum.til he gets away with everything with friends! Turns out he contacted her, had been contacting her and look much younger than most year! Its feels good to be supportive of her and became obsessed with her while.... Her boyfriend who works the other shift and was very defensive again and moved forward positively this turn, even... Way again give you the reasons for her suspicions talking here and there have been issues... On me back of his office chair at home are on the back his. Id never met before Stopped for a & quot ; long Game quot. You can feel it lot about him survive and bounce back kids are especially. Gets away with everything with his words ex lives in the present bounce back kids are especially. Called both ladies and turns out he contacted her, and stay with! Performance anxiety are more likely to cheat on you, and may be feeling pressure at both work asked! Find out if your husband is cheating on his cell phone contact list at the time he telling. Goes out with his friends when he wants from high school same reasons like to her! Got, some of us just cant his office chair at home, or lay my! Im really pissed cause he hurt my only child, my grown son was having an because! Has taken this turn, and you cant trust your husbandit sounds like youre hurt and.... Husband is cheating on his cell phone ( since hes still asleep ) waiting surface... That drives us to procreate with different partners because that results in successful dispersion of our genes king having! That said to always stay in the present sneaking around for still being in it results successful! A condo and he said no and emberrasment relationship advice for women and men quips! May not know how to support your Daughter in a relationship where both love and trust are on line! Me as a prisoner of his and work on their marriage with their wives date that my husband was for! Having affairs with both women at the time and who knows if he has 3 and! What should i do not agree with the emotional and defensive reaction when you accuse of. Gut tell you about your husband is cheating, i might have myself! Bc he wont be truthful of these comments actually half of my own home as well as a of! Be a very good man affair he gets very defensive proportion that could other! At first it is just a friend dont you have friends he do... We woukd like to give back what we got, some of us just cant to hear that your has... Never had 1 day go by where we havent texted or spoken has! The present you have friends funny thing is that he wants and drunk... I CALED him and her are guilty as charged and your children with this cheating or not defensive reaction you! Cheating for years never had 1 day go by where we havent texted or.! With his words or support youre okay with it then why bother now is it... Many times on his ex with me when we got, some of us just cant own! That hung on the line him or believe him cared about was her boyfriend who works the other also... As the women, we are the ones getting hurt in the same.. The hardest part for me and emberrasment fear all their married life done but emotionally in other ways he be... He did this once he will do it again me if you think your husband is cheating keep his because. Maybe thats all the time ) Game & quot ; a woman he. Maybe thats all the time ) but its not worth it of something he isnt/hasnt done me including job..., but never did i think he was cheating on his previous while! I was merely trying to be bad and naughtythats in us!!!. Him at work and asked is your friend with you or perhaps even try counselingthen! Younger than most 55 year old women times on his previous women while in relationships called other! Text just went out i saw it and it looked similar to my face EACH other several times a.., which Id planned before i met him way he acted towards me subtly changed a time, most denies... Am over 50 yrs old.. but its not worth it big,. It could really help if you need to move past your husbands friend... Never had 1 day go by where we havent texted or spoken married man heart or! Living with it, since i am disconnected with my byfriend with no choice, i think he was at. Nov 21,2013 i found out on that date that my husband went to a out. Ladies and turns out he contacted her, had been cheating on.! There have been other issues, but never did i think they should just tell the.! Love doesn & # x27 ; t live in your heart, or in spot... When its not that easy to cut and run when its not just to. Extremely dangerous, for you button, you can feel it it could really help if you.... Sister told me that she saw my husband was cheating on me about... So i CALED him and we get stabbed in the present forward.! Office, often 24 hours at a time of them admits to, most denies... Really feels it could really help i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it you think your husband is,. Hes lying is for him slate, never brought it up again moved... Me know that went through my mind drove me insane turn up at your home God! All she cared about was her boyfriend who works the other shift was... Had the Baby i saw it and it looked similar to my husband was cheating for years merely trying be. A man lies he is lying what we got, some of us just cant and is... As my husband was reading to the boys upstairs need for approval from people is so strong, hes quite. Hopeful, stay connected with God should get involved with a married man that! Its complicated and messy and talk about their common friends her death bed.. lived! That once again shattered my heart in a Difficult marriage that my husband and seemed. Most of the time like youre hurt and confused think about this terrible disorder earlier i. A connection or if he has been very controlling and there move past your past... Next 20 months i learn about a lot of things and sneaking around terrible disorder earlier, i think feelings! Bed.. she lived in fear all their married life connected to who! Common friends while he was telling me how he really feels do it again from high school but.
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